Harvest Moon
by DevineM27
Summary: Life for Teyla continues on Atlantis as she deals with love, loss, and some surprising changes.
1. Chapter 1: Preface

**Title:** Harvest Moon

**Series:** Stargate Atlantis

**Theme:** Drama /Romance

**Characters:** Teyla & (Kanaan/John); Cast of SGA, SG-1

**Rating/Warning:** R/Sexual Situations/Language

**Summary:** For now, nothing was set in stone. There was still hope.

**Links:** http:/devinem27 dot livejournal dot com

**Preface**

Teyla watched John as he approached their table. Something was wrong. She could tell by the look on his face. It was blank of emotion, but stiff bordering on anger and his gaze was hard, hard enough to sting. She'd seen the look many times before, mainly when he was given an order he didn't agree with, but was required to follow. And considering that he'd just left a meeting with Richard Woolsey, she knew that whatever was upsetting him would affect them all. She sighed as he settled into the seat across from hers and waited for him to speak.

John glanced at Teyla, but spoke to the table at large.

"Atlantis is scheduled to go back to Pegasus in two weeks."

The announcement was greeted with five seconds of silence before the questions began.

Rodney rolled his eyes. This was the third time they'd rescheduled Atlantis' departure. He wouldn't believe it until they fired up the engines and reached orbit.

"When will Woolsey make the official announcement?"

John chewed his mouthful of cheeseburger, before answering his question.

"Tomorrow morning. All of the teams should be back by then as long as there are no complications."

John smirked knowing how unlikely that was. When had there ever _not _been a complication? Teyla nodded understanding his skepticism. She continued to wait patiently as he answered questions from Evan, Amelia, Jennifer and Rodney about preparations for the departure, but it was Ronon's question that fell parallel to her own. He'd closely watched John as well and knew that something wasn't right.

"Sheppard, what's wrong?"

The table fell silent again waiting for his answer. John glanced at Ronon and then shifted his gaze back to Teyla.

"The IOA has agreed to a one year mission to reassess the Wraith threat. They consider the incident with Todd's underling to be an isolated one and want to weigh the possibility of another attack. Our job will be to gain as much intel as possible about the Wraith's knowledge of Earth and report any serious findings back to the SGC. After the year is up Atlantis will return to Earth for six months for additional repairs and restoration. During that time the IOA will determine whether or not Atlantis' mission will continue in Pegasus or be scrubbed and have the city reassigned."

Teyla leaned back in her chair, stunned by the news and what it could potentially mean to the team, to her and to her people. She felt Kanaan's warm hand grasp and gently squeeze her own and bowed her head. No one spoke as the enormity of the situation sank in. One by one they completed their lunch in silence and left the table until only Ronon, Kanaan, Torren, Teyla and John remained. Teyla watched John as he ate and then finally asked a question of her own.

"What did Woolsey have to say about this?"

John shrugged.

"He's upset. He thinks the IOA is feeling a little too comfortable because we destroyed the Super Hive and we have Todd in custody. He said he will try his best to make them realize how dangerous the situation is, but admits he's worried. He fears that by next year no matter what our findings are they will twist our words around to fit their needs and have the mission scrubbed. "

Teyla stole a few fries and handed them to Torren, who sat in a highchair at the end of the table.

"But for now nothing has been decided. So there's still hope, right?"

John nodded as he chewed that last of his fries, his gaze locked on Teyla's.

"Yes. All we can do is hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst."

Ronon shoved Kanaan with his forearm, interrupting the man's quiet observation of John and Teyla.

"You coming tonight?"

John zeroed in on his question, more than happy for the change in conversation.

"You have to come. It's poker. Besides, you deserve a night away from the old ball and chain."

He winced, but otherwise ignored the kick that Teyla had just planted on his leg.

"Torren and I are not burdens to be endured."

She argued.

John grinned at her in mock confusion.

"Who said anything about TJ?"

He grinned, catching her foot under the table and nearly pulled her from her seat. Teyla grabbed onto the arms of her chair and tried to wiggle free. Torren, or TJ if you asked John, laughed happily at his mother's antics and clapped his hands. Kanaan glanced from his son to John and Teyla and back again. The corners of his mouth curved upward in a smile.

"I will be there."

He replied finally answering Ronon's question.

Teyla smiled, relieved to see that Kanaan was again making an effort to connect with her friends. She still worried about him feeling at home here, remembering how isolated she'd once felt when the Athosians had first left the city. He'd tried on a few other occasions to hang out with her teammates, some successful and some not so successful which prompted her next comment.

"May I make one small…well two small requests?"

Ronon sighed confident that whatever she wanted would pretty much ruin their fun. Both he and John responded at the same time.

"No!"

Teyla continued, ignoring them.

"I would appreciated it if you returned him to me in one piece and preferably conscious."

John and Ronon shared a quick look before turning away. They remembered to two incidents to which Teyla referred. The first being an accident during a sparring session which had resulted in Kanaan getting a broken nose, the second being a drinking game that had gotten little out of hand. They'd all gotten pretty wasted that night and had suffered the consequences the next day.

"John."

Teyla said his name pulling him back to the present.

"Hhhmm?"

Was his only reply.

"_John." _

"_What?"_

He asked frowning at her. He gestured towards Kanaan who had yet to say anything.

"He's a grown man able to make his own decisions. Besides, what kind of friend would I be to deny a thirsty man a drink?"

Teyla glared at him angrily and he was pretty sure that Ronon's laughter wasn't helping the situation. John glanced at his watch and sighed. He pushed back from the table and picked up his tray.

"We've got to go."

He gently ruffled TJ's hair and then glanced pointedly at Kanaan.

"I'll see _you _at eight o'clock sharp."

Teyla watched as John and Ronon dropped off their trays and left the dining hall. She shook her head in exasperation. She softly wiped the food from Torren's face and hands and stacked his dishes on her tray. She considered readdressing the subject with John and Ronon later, but knew she would be wasting her breath. At the moment, there were more important things to be concerned with. Like finding her people once they returned to Pegasus and figuring out how the Athosians, now so few in number, would continue to survive. The rest, she wouldn't worry about. She would deal with that if or when it became necessary to do so. For now, nothing was set in stone. There was still hope.

**Author's note:** This story was actually inspired by a song called Harvest Moon. Many are familiar with Neil Young's version, but there's also a version sung by Cassandra Wilson. It's a beautiful rendition that combines Cassandra's velvet vocals, lovely instrumentals and the soothing sounds of nature. You can copy and paste the link to my Live Journal page to hear the song. For some reason this song reminds me of Teyla, the gentle Athosian side of Teyla. This is her story. This is how I see her and this is how I feel she sees John. (Clears throat) Ok, I'm going to stop now, because I miss SGA way too much. I know the first chapter is short, but there's more to come. **D.**


	2. Chapter 2: Hope

**Title:** Harvest Moon

**Series:** Stargate Atlantis

**Theme:** Drama /Romance

**Characters:** Teyla & (Kanaan/John); Cast of SGA, SG-1

**Rating/Warning:** R/Sexual Situations/Language

**Summary:** If Atlantis permanently returned to Earth her heart, her soul would be ripped in two, but she would find a way to endure.

**Links: http:/**devinem27 dot livejournal dot com

**Chapter 2: Hope **

Teyla walked quietly through the city. The team had just returned from an off world mission and after a quick trip to the armory to turn in her gear and a quick check up at the infirmary she was now headed home to her quarters. John, Ronon and Rodney were headed to the dining hall, but she'd declined to join them. It was after eight, later than she'd expected to return from their trip, but if she hurried she might be able kiss and sing a lullaby to Torren before he went down for the night.

Teyla soon realized that it wasn't meant to be. The doors silently closed behind her as she watched Kanaan cover their sleeping son with a blanket. She sighed in disappointment and crossed the room giving Kanaan a kiss on the lips and planted one on Torren's brow.

"I am sorry. I truly believed that we would return earlier. I knew I missed dinner, but I hoped to return in time to put him down for the night."

She gently caressed the baby's cheek. Kanaan wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his side.

"It is fine. Torren and I had a discussion before bedtime and it was agreed that if you spend breakfast, lunch and dinner with us tomorrow all will be forgiven."

Teyla softly laughed.

"Thank you for your graciousness."

He grinned.

"It is our pleasure. Now, it is time for you to eat."

Kanaan led her into the kitchenette and told her to sit at the table. He retrieved a small bowl from their miniature refrigerator and placed in it the microwave. After offering her a drink, which she declined, he gathered a spoon and napkin and served Teyla a steaming bowl of soup. She inhaled its rich aroma and smiled.

"This smells wonderful."

He joined her at the table.

"It tastes wonderful as well. I had some for dinner earlier."

They sat for a few moments in silence while Teyla enjoyed her meal.

"Was your mission successful?"

She nodded.

"Yes, the Guerin were very interested in trade. They have no use for the Naquadah found on their planet and are happy to trade it for medical supplies, which they are in great need of. John says that in time the Guerin will be taught simple ways to use the material to help improve their way of life."

Teyla saw a frown ripple across Kanaan's face, but it was gone just as quickly as it arrived.

"Is something wrong?"

He shook his head no and asked another question.

"How many more missions do you have scheduled before we leave?"

Her eyes sparkled, excited at the thought of returning home.

"One more scheduled for the day after tomorrow and then Atlantis is scheduled to depart two days after that. I cannot wait to see the others again."

He nodded.

"It will be good to be home and with our people again. They have been greatly missed. Have you thought anymore about my suggestions to you?"

She grinned remembering his enthusiasm. For months she'd worried about Kanaan being stuck on Atlantis with nothing to do, only to learn that he'd spent a majority of his time researching Earth's agricultural practices. He'd found a way for the Athosians to plant a crop large enough for food, storage and still have something left over for trade.

"Yes, I even mentioned it to John. He said he-"

"John is a soldier not a farmer. Besides, I want _your_ opinion, not his."

Teyla was surprised by the irritation in his tone. She didn't appreciate it, especially after eight hours of tramping through the woods on a dusty planet listening to Rodney complain about how hot and thirsty he was.

"_John_ offered to put you in contact Dr. Jones at the SGC. He is an agricultural scientist who could answer some of your questions about the techniques you were reading about. He thought your ideas were good and was merely trying to be helpful. I thought you would be grateful for the assistance."

Kanaan didn't respond. Instead he gathered her spoon and empty bowl, rinsed them in the sink and sat them on the counter to dry. He turned to face her.

"I _am_ grateful for his assistance…"

"But?"

Kanaan hesitated for a moment and then finally shrugged his shoulders. He sighed.

"But nothing. Please tell John that I said thank you. Any assistance in this matter would be greatly appreciated. After all, it is for the good of all of our people."

Teyla rose from the table and moved to his side.

"Is everything well, Kanaan? Is there something that we need to discuss?"

He studied her face closely before he answered.

"I am worried for you, Teyla."

She frowned.

"Why?"

Kanaan gently caressed her cheek.

"Because it has been one week since Mr. Woolsey announced Atlantis' one year mission. And every evening we sit and discuss finding our people, ways to help our people and things to be discussed with the council, but we never discuss what you will do when Atlantis returns to Earth. What you will do if Atlantis never returns to Pegasus. And the possibility that Ronon may go with them."

Teyla sighed, but she didn't speak. Kanaan continued.

"You forget that I was there when the Lantean's left the last time. There was no doubt that their leaving weighed heavily on your heart. We, all of us, saw the change in you. You were there on New Athos for your people, but your heart was clearly somewhere else. I remember your sadness and I remember Ronon's unrest. I also remember the joy on both of your faces when John Sheppard stepped out of the darkness and into the firelight of our camp. I worry that with this second leaving Atlantis will not return. And that if you choose your people over the love that you have for your new family, in time what you feel for us will become seeded with bitterness. And that we will become a burden to you."

Teyla grasped Kanaan hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"I love our people and the Lantean's equally. You are _all_ my family. But if they, and Ronon, do leave never to return, I will be sad but I will have Torren and you to keep me happy. My love for you two has no boundaries and knows no limit. You two are more than enough to keep me strong. So please do not worry about me. I will be just fine."

Kanaan brushed a soft kiss across her lips and smiled. Teyla returned his smile and pulled her hand free.

"Now, if you will excuse me I would like to take a long hot shower before retiring for bed."

Teyla headed for the bathroom. Once there she closed the door and turned on the hot water. As she pulled off her uniform she thought back to what Kanaan said. …t_he last time… _The last time the Lantean's left had been very sudden and unexpected. The return of the Ancients had not gone as either of their people had hoped. With the city reclaimed and a request for their immediate departure, there had been hardly enough time to pack up and leave, let alone to say their goodbyes. But they did say their goodbyes and it had been one of the saddest moments of her life.

It had been difficult, to say the least, to suddenly stop fighting and just live. It was a transition readjusting to a slower pace of life, which was not made any easier by Ronon's insistence that they fight. If anything he had only made her miss John, Elizabeth, Carson and Rodney even more. What Kanaan said was true. Seeing John again, his infectious smile, his knowing look and his wildly ruffled hair had filled her heart with joy the moment he stepped into the clearing. And it had also given her some relief. Ronon had been on the verge of doing something reckless and she had greatly feared that whatever he'd gotten into would be too great from which to save him. But when John arrived she had known that somehow everything would be okay. But then, that was just John. He always seemed to make the impossible possible.

When her people went missing, he was the one that gave her hope. When she pushed herself too far, he was the one that tried to protect her and her son from her own stubbornness. And when Michael held her prisoner, knowing that he searched for her, that he would find her, gave her the will to fight even when it seemed all hope was gone.

Teyla stood under the spray of warm water and sighed. She honestly could not imagine going back to the life that she had before the Lanteans arrived, but knew that if it came to that she could never abandon her people. If Atlantis permanently returned to Earth her heart, her soul would be ripped in two, but she would find a way to endure.


	3. Chapter 3: No Other

**Title:** Harvest Moon

**Series:** Stargate Atlantis

**Theme:** Drama /Romance

**Characters:** Teyla & (Kanaan/John); Cast of SGA, SG-1

**Rating/Warning:** R/Sexual Situations/Language

**Summary:** There would be confusion and pain on both sides and they would need time and space to heal.

**Links: http:/**devinem27 dot livejournal dot com

**Author's Note:** Thanks to everyone for the wonderful reviews. I haven't written anything JT in a while and I feel as if I'm struggling to find them again, but it's coming back to me. Yes, life is very busy, so much so that I actually began writing this story some time ago. I'm writing on chapter 13 and will try to stay a head of the game and pace the chapters accordingly. So, please bear with me. This next chapter is a bit of a treat. Hope you like it.

**D. **

**Chapter 3: No Other**

"You are a beautiful woman. You are strong and bold. You have wisdom. This is a rarity for my people. I would be honored to claim you as mine. I would treat you well."

David watched the quiet woman sitting behind the bars and tried to ignore the threatening growl that emitted from the next cell. He sighed.

"I wanted you to know that you do have a choice. You can choose another man if he wishes to claim you."

She looked at him, a sad smile on her lips.

"I thank you for your offer and for your information."

David hesitated hoping that she would say more, but she didn't. With a sigh he turned and walked away.

"Is that eleven or twelve?"

John asked. He glanced through the bars at Teyla. She turned meeting his gaze.

"It is the twelfth offer," she confirmed.

He could see the resignation on her face.

"We could stall. Find some excuse to give us more time. Command is expecting us to radio in in another hour, if we don't they will send another team and-."

"By then it will be too late," she said cutting him off.

Teyla could see the truth of her words in his eyes, but he was still hopeful that there would be another way.

"Maybe David can help us? He's young, easily influenced and he likes you. Maybe you can convince him to help you escape."

She shook her head no, having already considered it.

"He is young as you say, too young. He does not contain the courage to disobey his father. Besides, as the next in line to become leader of these people he has much to lose. Helping a strange woman, no matter how beautiful he believes she is, is not worth losing that."

John tried another avenue.

"You could accept his offer. When you two are alone you could incapacitate him, tie him up and make a run for it."

She shook her head once more.

"They probably will expect it and tie me to the bed. No, I will not take the chance of being raped by a stranger."

He flinched at her words.

"It is better to lay with a man of my choosing, someone that I trust, a friend."

They shared a long meaningful look before he looked away. Teyla reached through the bars and placed her hand on his shoulder.

"John."

She waited until he looked at her again.

"You heard what Daylen said. If he chooses for me after I am claimed I would be taken off world as a precaution. I could go missing for months, possibly longer. Atlantis is scheduled to leave for Pegasus in two days. I _have_ to be there when it does. This is the only way."

He said what she would not.

"And Kanaan?"

Teyla closed her eyes and let out a long sigh. Kanaan would be devastated. He would understand the reason for her decision, but knowing that would not lessen the pain. She knew that he harbored some jealousy of her friendship with John and had hoped that life on Atlantis would help him see there was no reason for it. But this, this would be the realization of his worst fear. Teyla did not want to hurt Kanaan, but did not know what else to do. It was her body and her spirit that would be broken if she lost everything that she had ever known. Better to turn to a friend, go home and find a way to make amends. When she met his gaze again her eyes were clouded with doubt.

"I can only hope that he will accept and understand the choices that I made to return to our family."

John lowered his voice aware that Ronon and Rodney listened from the other side of the cell.

"And us?"

She smiled and squeezed his shoulder.

"We will endure and our friendship will grow stronger, though for a while things may be a bit awkward."

He smirked.

"That's the understatement of a lifetime."

Then turned, resting his head back against the bars and closed his eyes.

Teyla took a similar pose on her side of the bars. When she closed her eyes the events of the last hour and forty minutes flashed through her mind. Their arrival to Ryan had caused little commotion, but the angry glares that she'd received from the men had put her on edge. Eventually, a man by the name of Wean had welcomed them to the village and taken them to see his leader. Daylen Agdon was the Chancellor of Ryan, his son David was acting Vice Chancellor. Daylen was a man set in his ways. He was not necessarily evil, but he was very narrow-minded and righteous in his beliefs. He could not understand nor see the benefit of a society that allowed women to interact with men as equals. In his opinion a women could never be a man's equal. Women were like children and needed a strong hand to control them. They were to be claimed and used to the benefit of the house to which they belonged.

John had tried to reason with Daylen, but he'd refused to bend. Teyla, though ignorant of it at the time, had broken five of their sacred laws. Women were forbidden to carry weapons, wear men's clothing, expose their hair, to go out in public without the one who claimed them, nor speak to a man unless he first initiated the conversation. Teyla had broken all five laws in less than twenty minutes of their arrival. These transgressions alone were enough to have her severely punished.

Daylen hadn't cared that Teyla had loved ones awaiting her at home. He'd stated that any man who could not control his woman was absolved of his claim and that it fell to another man to succeed where he had failed. Shortly thereafter he had given his ultimatum. As an outsider he'd given her one consolation, an hour to choose her new claimer. He'd warned that if she had not done so by then that he would choose one for her.

They'd tried to leave peacefully, but were easily outnumbered and quickly disarmed. They were escorted to separate cells, it being forbidden for an unclaimed to share a room with anyone but her father. And for the last hour, in between offers from strange men, they searched for ways of escape.

The low murmur of voices and the sound of footsteps reached her from the distance. Someone sneezed, keys clinked and a heavy door squeaked open and then slammed shut. The voices and footsteps grew louder and louder still. Teyla glanced up as Daylen, followed by David and six guards stopped outside of her cell. He called out to her.

"Teyla Emmagan, have you decided?"

She rose from the bench staring Daylen in the eye.

"Yes, I have."

He nodded.

"Good."

He gestured for the guard to unlock her cell and waited until she joined them in the hallway. Teyla paused and glanced back over her shoulder into the next cell.

John let out a heavy sigh and opened his eyes. He stood looking first to Ronon and then Rodney. They both stepped back against the far wall as he approached the cell door. The sound of the key scraping against the lock seemed incredibly loud. So did the groan of rusted metal as the door opened and then slammed shut. He went to stand beside Teyla and glared at Daylen Agdon. Daylen smiled.

"So she chooses you John Sheppard. Why am I not surprised?"

He turned and began walking back the way he'd just come.

"Very well, this way please."

John and Teyla trailed behind him, followed by David and the guards.

**SSSSS**

The heavy door closed behind them and the metal bolt slid into place. Teyla turned and stared at the huge wooden bed. It sat on a dais in the center of the room, draped in white linen and surrounded by candlelight. She breathed deeply, trying to slow her racing heartbeat. John stood at her shoulder, also staring at the bed. He glanced down at Teyla as she glanced up, meeting his gaze.

"We need to talk."

She'd known this was coming, but asked anyway her voice a low whisper.

"About what?"

He shifted uncomfortably, but his gaze did not waiver.

"Why am I here and not Ronon or Rodney?"

Teyla frowned, a small shudder going down her spine.

"I could not do this with Ronon or Rodney any more than I could with Halling or Jinto.

Though they are not of my blood, I love them as brothers. The very idea makes me ill."

John frowned as if he struggled to process the words. Finally he spoke.

"But, I am different."

It was a statement, not a question. Teyla nodded.

"Yes, you are different. It doesn't mean that I love you any less than the others. It is just that I love you differently."

John looked away, gathering his thoughts and Teyla turned to face him. She knew how difficult it was for him to express his feelings and didn't want to rush him. When he looked at her again his eyes were different somehow and his words surprised her.

"What I …feel for you is different as well."

He saw the shocked expression on her face and suddenly smiled, his eyes sparkled teasingly. But as he spoke his tone grew serious.

"I respect you and admire you. I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world. In another life maybe, in another time we could have meant something else to each other. But I didn't want to mess things up between us so I made a conscious choice not to express my feelings in that way. I drew a line on our relationship."

Teyla arched her brow. She understood what John meant, but couldn't help teasing him a little.

"That was very assumptive of you."

John smirked, noting her lighter tone.

"Oh, I could have worn you down if I wanted to."

She asked doubtfully.

"You think?"

He nodded with confidence.

"_Oh, yeah."_

They both laughed, but after a few moments he grew serious again.

"We're about to cross that line and once we do I want to be sure we'll be able to live with the consequences."

Teyla's answer was immediate.

"Yes, I can live with the consequences. Can you?"

John nodded and waited, following her lead.

Teyla turned and slowly approached the bed, trying to clear her mind. She refused to think of _him. _She wouldn't….couldn't. Not now. Instead she thought of Torren. Of seeing him, holding him in her arms and rocking him to sleep as she softly sang a lullaby. She would see her son again soon because of John. Teyla understood the personal sacrifice that he was making to help a friend and was grateful. She knew that after today living with what took place here wouldn't be easy. There would be confusion and pain on both sides and they would need time and space to heal.

Teyla paused at the side of the bed and reached out, grabbing one of John's hands. She pulled him close, less than an inch away, and gazed into his eyes.

"Thank you. For doing this. I know that…"

She sighed unable to find the words and squeezed his hand instead.

"Thank you."

John smiled sadly and caressed her cheek.

"You're welcome."

Then leaned forward and captured her lips in a kiss.


	4. Chapter 4: Back To The Beginning

**Title:** Harvest Moon

**Series:** Stargate Atlantis

**Theme:** Drama /Romance

**Characters:** Teyla & (Kanaan/John); Cast of SGA, SG-1

**Rating/Warning:** R/Sexual Situations/Language

**Summary:** She'd missed him, his smiles and his teasing, more than she'd realized.

**Links:** http:/devinem27 dot livejournal dot com

**Author's Note: **Hi, all. Just wanted to thank you guys again for the reviews. Some of you had a few questions so I thought to give a few answers: Consequences? – Of course, yes, no, he won't get a chance to and you've hit it right on the head. Now, I've actually answered many of your questions, but of course I won't make it easy for you. All will come to light in a short amount of time and for your patience you'll be rewarded **ten**fold. LOL!

**D. **

**Chapter 4: Back to the Beginning**

It was a beautiful day. The sky was clear and the sun shined brightly. It was warm, but not uncomfortably so and a cool breeze carried the soft fragrance of flowers in the air. Teyla walked at a slow easy pace, resting her arms on the P-90 attached to her vest. She could hear voices and other sounds coming from the settlement in the distance and smiled.

"What?"

John asked seeing the change in her expression. She shook her head.

"It's just good to be back and know that my people are safe. I worried that they would not fare well while we were away."

He grunted in response.

In the days since Ryan they hadn't seen very much on each other. Mostly because they were busy with preparations for Atlantis' departure, but partly to give each other a little space. The city had only touched down on a new planet four days ago and after making initial contact with Earth they began sweeps of the planet's surface and ocean. Today was the first off world mission since their return and its purpose was to re-establish contact with the Athosians.

Before long someone spotted them in the distance and cries of welcome could be heard. Teyla watched as some of the children raced out to meet them, excited to see her, but ecstatic to see John, Ronon and even Rodney. They swarmed around them asking questions and searching cargo pockets for candy. She smiled watching as John faked trying to remember where he'd put the candy, all the while hiding it in his vest. She'd missed him, his smiles and his teasing, more than she'd realized.

"Teyla!"

She glanced up and her smile widened at the sight of Halling with Jinto not too far behind him. They greeted each other in their traditional custom. Halling looked from Teyla to John, Ronon and Rodney.

"It is good to see that you are all well. We had begun to fear the worst."

"Atlantis was badly damaged in the fight against the Wraith. The city required many repairs before we could return."

Teyla explained. Halling nodded in understanding.

"Come."

He entreated.

"You have arrived in time to join us for the midday meal. We can discuss what has happened during your absence."

**SSSSS**

They all gathered around the table for midday meal while John told the story of how Atlantis defeated the Super Hive in battle over Earth. Halling told of happenings with the Athosians while they were away and of a recent important invitation received from Abel Mason.

The name caught Teyla's full attention.

"Abel Mason? I thought he and nearly all of his kind had been culled by the Wraith."

Halling nodded.

"As did we all, but it appears that a small number of them did survive and they are looking to build a new community on an uninhabited planet. For weeks we had heard whispers of such a thing, but had not actually spoken to anyone that was actually involved. And then four days ago a messenger arrived."

Teyla did not try to hide her curiosity.

"Who was the messenger?"

Halling smiled.

"Orin Patthen."

She frowned.

"Orin, but….?"

Halling nodded in understanding.

"I know. There are five tribes total that have been invited to the meeting. All have been attacked by the Wraith within the last seven years and a few were believed to have been completely wiped out. It is said that at this meeting they will discuss the possibility of an alliance. The creation of a new community. A community that is strong in number and yet diverse. It is said that they hope to create a council consisting of the leaders of the original tribes to govern the community. The Council has agreed to send a representative, but they will want to discuss it with you now that you are returned."

Teyla shrugged.

"I can see no reason why we should not go. I am interested to see what they have to say. The idea of a new community is an intriguing one."

"The meeting is scheduled to take place in ten days' time. I am to leave at first light."

Teyla smiled at Halling.

"I shall arrive in time to join you and we shall travel together."

He bowed his head in agreement.

"I shall await your arrival."

**SSSSS**

Teyla leaned against the massive tree trunk. She gently plucked the petals from the flower she held, watching as they fluttered through the air and landed in the nearby stream. It was very peaceful and quiet. Very different from the steady hum of activity found on Atlantis. It offered her a small reprieve from the noise, from the tension and from Kanaan. She'd yet to tell him of what occurred on Ryan and it was starting to weigh on her conscious. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt him, but he needed to know the truth. She could only hope that he would find a way to understand.

Teyla became aware of quiet footsteps behind her. She didn't turn to see who it was. She already knew. When John paused by her side and quietly stared out at the stream she breathed deeply, inhaling the cool clean scent of his cologne. Using her peripheral vision she studied his profile; his brow, the slope of his nose, his lips and the curve of his jawline. It was a face she knew as well as her own. And yet, there was a new sense of awareness when she looked at him, a more intimate knowledge of him that made his features seemed more vivid, his gaze more intense. Even now as he turned to look at her his eyes glowed bright, smoldering. His gaze dropped from her eyes to her lips and then returned to the stream. He sighed a weary sigh.

"Are you okay?"

It suddenly occurred to Teyla that for the first time in her life his presence made her feel nervous. John looked at her when she didn't respond.

"Teyla?"

A shiver raced down her spine. His voice seemed deeper too.

"I am fine."

She answered and then asked a question of her own.

"And you?"

He nodded.

"I'm good. How is _everything_?"

She looked away, noting his emphasis on everything.

"I have not told him yet, but I will soon now that we have found my people."

John frowned.

"Do you think that he'll-?"

She wouldn't let him finish.

"I hope not, but I cannot be sure. If that is his wish, then so be it."

He turned back to the stream.

"I'll be sure to give you guys a little space in the coming weeks, while you try and work things out."

Teyla frowned at him.

"Thank you for the offer, but you do not have to do that."

"Yes, I do."

His expression was serious, his gaze distant.

"_I_ need it, for a little while at least."

He smirked.

"Besides we'll still see each other during missions and meetings. And it's not like we won't bump into each other in the city. I'll be around."

Teyla closed her eyes as a deep feeling of sadness settled over her. John was willing to reduce himself to a stranger in his own home to make things easier for her. She should offer to leave, to come and stay with her people for a time, but knew it would only upset him.

"I am sorry that this is so difficult for you."

"Don't be. I chose to help you. I was a willing participant and I don't regret any of it. And neither should you."

He reached out and grasped her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. Their gazes locked and held.

"You made the right choice. No matter how bad things may seem right now. No matter what happens in the future. You made the right choice. Don't ever doubt that. Okay?"

She nodded and gave a small smile.

"Okay."

After her agreement, John was quick to change the subject.

"Are you seriously considering an alliance with these other tribes?"

Teyla shrugged.

"I think it will be in our best interest to at least hear what they have to say. This could be the very thing we were looking for; a way for the Athosians to survive if Atlantis were to return to Earth on a permanent basis."

"I admit it does sound interesting, but a word of caution. Be sure that your people aren't being used in the hopes of an alliance with us. Your people are the only ones who know that our departure may be permanent and for now we wish it to remain that way."

"Many of these people have received assistance from Atlantis in the past, such as Orin and his family. Do you really think that is possible?"

John frowned. He remembered being trapped on Orin's planet while it was culled by the Wraith. It was an event that he hoped never to experience again.

"I think anything is possible, but I'm only asking that you use caution. From what Halling has said it could very well be a legitimate proposal. But then, when has anything ever been exactly what it seemed."

Teyla sighed, considering his words. She felt his hand tighten over hers and looked up meeting his gaze.

"If you need anything, let me know. If you can't find me, tell Ronon and I'll find you. Okay?"

She nodded, but said nothing as John slowly released her hand, turned and headed back to the village.


	5. Chapter 5: Rumor Mill

**Title:** Harvest Moon

**Series:** Stargate Atlantis

**Theme:** Drama /Romance

**Characters:** Teyla & (Kanaan/John); Cast of SGA, SG-1

**Rating/Warning:** R/Sexual Situations/Language

**Summary:** Kanaan's words had not helped the situation; in fact they had only made it more complicated, but they did help Teyla decide when and how best to tell him.

**Links:** http:/devinem27 dot livejournal dot com

**Chapter 5: Rumor Mill **

After putting Torren to bed Teyla and Kanaan sat down to discuss the potential new home for the Athosians. She told him of the rumors that had begun to spread throughout the villages, of the messenger who'd brought the invitation to the Athosians and the day that she would depart and meet with Halling. She suggested that it would be an ideal time for their family to spend a few days in the village, as there would be much to discuss and important decisions to be made in a very short period of time.

"It would be a good time to present your findings to the Council as well."

Teyla suggested.

"Your ideas for improvement in agriculture could be a valuable tool during negotiations, if we decide to accept this offer."

Kanaan frowned as he spoke.

"If we accept? Why ever would we not? Teyla, this is exactly what our people need. With the Lanteans leaving in a year this is a chance for us to reconnect and grow. Ever since Michael took our people captive and with so many of us having to go through treatment and recovery, we have remained isolated. When Atlantis left with no idea of when or if it would ever return, as Halling said, our people were forced to reach out to other worlds, to seek out old alliances and to make new ones. This must continue, for the good of our people."

Teyla smiled at Kanaan's passion. Many months had passed since she'd seen him so excited about something other than farming.

"I see your point and I agree with all you have said, but we must proceed with caution. Ultimately, it will be the Council's decision as to whether or not we will accept their offer, but I do not want us to rush into something only to regret it later. We must be sure that all is as it seems."

Kanaan stared at her, confused.

"Teyla, these are people that we have known for years, some of which we have broken bread and traded with for generations. What else could it possibly be? Where are these suspicions coming from?"

She sighed. He'd never questioned the way she'd done things before and wondered why he did so now.

"As you said, some of them we know and some of them we do not. I am merely being cautious, as should we all. Our people cannot afford to experience anymore setbacks or to lose any more lives. We have to take precautions and think things through. Surely, you can see the wisdom in that."

Kanaan hesitated before he spoke.

"I see the wisdom of your words, but I hear the voice of John Sheppard."

Teyla suppressed a flash of anger and tried to remain calm. Was he accusing her of not being able to make her own decisions?

"I did talk to John and he encouraged me to use caution, but there was no need. As with any decision that I make, for the good of our people, I carefully weigh all options and on occasion seek the advice of the Council before making any decisions. That is what a good leader does. "

"_Oh,_ I understand."

He sat back in his chair, his tone cynical.

"John is considered a leader, a hero, among his people so he would understand, while I, being no one of importance, would not."

Teyla was taken completely by surprise. Where Kanaan's hostility had come from she didn't know, but he had no reason, well at least that he knew of, to be angry. She froze. Unless, somehow….? Dread twisted in the pit of her stomach. But who'd done it? No, she breathed, that was impossible. No one, not even Rodney, would have told. It had to be something else.

"Kanaan, where is this coming from?"

He looked away and sighed heavily. Then reached up, running his hand through his hair and then folded his arms over his chest.

"I have no ill will towards John Sheppard. How could I?"

His words said one thing, but his body language, even his tone said something else.

"He has saved my life and the lives of our people on more than one occasion. Nor am I angry at you. I have been in the city for too long and have allowed my insecurities to get the best of me."

Teyla shifted uneasily in her chair. She tried not to think of the past and to focus on this moment.

"I know that you love me, that you chose to be with me and for us to be a family. But at times it is difficult for me to deal with the closeness of your relationship with John. He is a good man, a strong leader, and to Rodney, Ronon and especially you he is the best of friends. When I think of what he went through to find you and bring you home, to bring _us_ home, there are no words to truly convey my gratitude. Knowing him as I do makes me wonder why you would choose to be with me when you could have him."

He held up his hand stopping her words.

"It is easy to see how you two complement each other. Even a blind man can see that. And yet, you choose to remain friends."

Kanaan shrugged.

"I do not understand it, but I am grateful because I cannot imagine my life without you and Torren in it."

He laughed at himself.

"I just need a few days away from the city, to go home. Just you, me and the baby and then everything will be back to normal."

Teyla sat in silence. Every word he spoke weighed heavily on her conscious. She considered telling Kanaan about Ryan, but then immediately decided against it. She would wait until the day of the meeting drew near. It would give them a chance to talk away from the city and give him a chance to think things through. Kanaan's words had not helped the situation; in fact they had only made it more complicated, but they did help Teyla decide when and how best to tell him.

Kanaan reached across the table and grasped her hand.

"We should begin to consider when would be a good time to return home on a permanent basis. I know it will be a difficult transition for you as well as your team, but the sooner we move the more time we will have to ease into the change. If all goes well and the invitation for the new alliance is accepted, we could move to the new location with the rest of our people. It would allow us to be involved in the building of our new community from the very beginning. It would also help establish you as one of its new leaders. Do you not agree?"

Teyla nodded, ignoring the pounding of her heart. Just the thought of leaving Atlantis made her feel uneasy. For now, she had enough to worry about and was in no mood to discuss leaving the city.

"The idea is worth some consideration. I will think on it, but for now I am going to bed."

She rose from her seat and kissed Kanaan goodnight, then grabbed her nightclothes and headed for the bathroom. Behind the closed door, Teyla stared at her reflection in the mirror and wondered when her personal life had gotten so complicated. She closed her eyes and saw John's face, his expression was subdued, withdrawn. He looked tired, as if something weighed heavily on his soul. And it wasn't difficult for her to image what that weight could be. Teyla buried her face in her hands and groaned. She'd already hurt one man that she loved and was about to hurt another, but it was a necessary evil. She refused to lie to Kanaan, about her and John's past or about their future. She _would_ consider his words, but she would make no plans or promises until she told him what happened on Ryan. Because his actions, once he knew that truth, would change everything.


	6. Chapter 6: Whispers Of A Dream

**Title:** Harvest Moon

**Series:** Stargate Atlantis

**Theme:** Drama /Romance

**Characters:** Teyla & (Kanaan/John); Cast of SGA, SG-1

**Rating/Warning:** R/Sexual Situations/Language

**Summary:** To leave Atlantis shortly before it departed for Earth was one thing, but for her to leave Atlantis, never to see her friends again, with them being only a Stargate away was something else entirely.

**Links:** http:/devinem27 dot livejournal dot com

**Chapter 6: Whispers of a Dream**

_Teyla arched her back as pleasure flowed through her. She tried to lift her hips, but strong hands held them firmly in place. She opened her eyes just as he claimed her lips in another kiss, smothering her plea. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she moaned as he moved against her. The gentle slip and pull of flesh on flesh was driving her insane. Slowly the pressure began to build, nourished by an onslaught of heat and pleasure until she exploded with release. _

"_John!"_

Teyla stared into the darkness of her room. She glanced first at Kanaan and then Torren, but both still slumbered, undisturbed by her cry. Teyla sighed with relief. She brushed the sweat from her brow and lay back, took a deep breath and tried to calm her racing heart. It was another dream, a vivid dream, so much so that she could still feel the heat of his touch. Teyla wasn't sure if it was the fact that she missed John or her guilty conscious that made the dream come so frequently. She only knew that she could no longer carry this secret. It was finally time to tell Kanaan the truth.

**SSSSS**

Halling and Teyla returned to the village shortly after midday meal. They immediately spoke with the Council upon their return and remained deep in discussion until late afternoon. It was evening when Teyla approached Kanaan and asked that he walk with her. They wondered down to the stream and sat by the waterside. Teyla closed her eyes remembering the last time that she leaned against the massive tree trunk and sighed. She glanced at Kanaan, who smiled back at her, and felt her stomach muscles tighten.

"I have to tell you something that you will not like."

He stilled, waiting for her to continue.

"While on our last mission from Earth, we encountered a race of people who did not respect women. Their leader took us captive and threatened to mate me with one of his people as punishment for my transgressions. Because I was a visitor and ignorant of their ways he gave me one concession, a chance to pick a mate of my own choosing."

Teyla paused, watching the expression on his face, which quickly shifted from confusion to concern.

"I was given one hour to choose and warned that if I failed to do so, one would be chosen for me. I was also told that after he claimed me, as a precaution, I would be taken off world and hidden for a period of time in the hopes that the Lanteans would give up search or that I would decide to stay. We tried to find a way to escape, but there was none. We considered stalling until another team arrived, but ran out of time. In the end I had to choose."

By now she could easily see his anger, his whole body shook with it. Teyla sighed, but refused to look away.

"I chose John."

The pain that filled his eyes broke her heart. She would have stopped there, but she needed him to understand her point of view. Teyla wiped the moisture from her eyes.

"I am sorry that I hurt you, but I had no choice. The idea of being forced by some stranger and then taken away…."

"Could you not have lied?"

She shook her head.

"I couldn't do it. I couldn't chance it. We were monitored. If there had been any doubt another would have been chosen. Atlantis was scheduled to leave in two days. If I went missing there was a good chance I would never see you or Torren again. I had no choice."

Teyla struggled to breathe between her tears. She watched Kanaan as he too wiped at his eyes, but still he glared at her.

"Why?"

He asked his voice low and hollow.

"Why John and not Rodney or Ronon? I think I know the answer, but I need to hear you say it. So go ahead and tell me the truth, why him? "

Teyla looked away. She had prayed that he wouldn't ask her this question because it would only cause more pain. But she'd promised to tell the truth, no matter what. He deserved that much.

"Rodney and Ronon are family. I couldn't sleep with them."

He pressed.

"And John?"

She met his gaze.

"I love John. I love Ronon and Rodney too, but John is different from the others."

Teyla waited, expecting him to yell at her, to rage and scream at her betrayal, but there was only silence. She looked at him only to find that his gaze had shifted to the ground. She continued.

"I don't know how to explain it, but I also love you. I chose to be with you and for us to be a family. It is what I have always wanted. It is what I still want."

Kanaan stood his body stiff with anger. He breathed deeply, trying to control his emotions.

"What you want may not be possible, Teyla."

Then he suddenly turned and walked away. Teyla sat stunned. She'd expected many things, an argument, accusations, hours upon hours of her having to reassure him of her love, but she'd never expected him to just _leave_. She'd expected him to fight, for their family, for her. John would have…. She dropped her head and sighed, but there was no point in denying the truth. John would have screamed her head off and probably given her a shake or two. Ronon would have killed whomever she'd slept with. Even Rodney would have thrown a fit. And she would have preferred it that way. She would have preferred anything other than quiet anger and bottled up rage.

Teyla stared into the darkness, feeling confused. For days she'd gone over this conversation in her head, imagining various reactions from Kanaan. From him she'd expected fireworks. For her, she'd expected to feel sorrow, sadness, pain, even remorse. She'd even prepared herself to accept loss, if necessary, but not once had she expected to feel disappointment.

**SSSSS**

In the days that followed Teyla saw very little of Kanaan. He made an appearance on the fourth day as she packed for her return to Atlantis. He looked tired, withdraw and still very angry.

"I will not return to the city."

Teyla nodded, she'd expected as much.

"I understand."

His tone grew cynical.

"Do you?"

He asked, his expression almost a sneer.

"Do you? _Really? _Because I don't plan to set foot in that city _ever_ again."

"Kanaan, I-"

He cut her off.

"I need time to think. To see if this is something that we can work past. If it is, you will need to come home. I will not have you living and working so closely with a man that I cannot trust. Your work with the expedition would have to end."

Kanaan kissed Torren goodbye and left, leaving Teyla speechless from his ultimatum. Once the surprise wore off she grew angry, outraged even, that he would make such demands on her, but soon reasoned that his words were clouded by his own anger and fear. She hoped that with time he would reconsider them otherwise there would be a serious problem. To leave Atlantis shortly before it departed for Earth was one thing, but for her to leave Atlantis, never to see her friends again, with them being only a Stargate away was something else entirely. She wouldn't do it and he had no right to ask her to. Teyla only prayed that it didn't come to that.

She slowly finished packing her things, gathered Torren and began their trip to the gate. Halling offered his assistance, for which she was eternally grateful. He didn't ask any questions, only bid her and Torren farewell and watched as they stepped into the gate.

**SSSSS**

When Teyla exited the event horizon she was surprised to find John, Ronon and Rodney waiting in the gateroom. It appeared as if they'd only just arrived a few moments before she did. John looked at Teyla and frowned as the wormhole disengaged. Kanaan's absence was noted by all. His anger quickly boiled over.

"Where the hell is-?"

"_John_."

Teyla warned and rubbed Torren's back. She sighed heavily and shrugged, having nothing else to say. He remained silent, but his displeasure was evident. John and Ronon stepped forward to help her, taking her backpack and baby's bag. Ronon glared at Rodney until he picked her satchel up off the floor. Rodney stumbled forward, mumbling under his breath.

"What the hell is in here, a pile of bricks?"

Ronon cuffed him across the back of his head and the two began to argue back and forth as they followed John down the corridor. One by one they'd relieved her of her burdens until only she and Torren remained. Teyla hugged her son close, smiling into his hair and trailed behind her teammates. No, she would never willingly leave her Atlantis family any more than they would willingly abandon her people. Somehow, things would work themselves out.


	7. Chapter 7: Hindsight

**Title:** Harvest Moon

**Series:** Stargate Atlantis

**Theme:** Drama /Romance

**Characters:** Teyla & (Kanaan/John); Cast of SGA, SG-1

**Rating/Warning:** R/Sexual Situations/Language

**Summary: **John could understand Teyla's wish for privacy, but there were some instances when it was better not to be alone and this was one of them.

**Links: http:**/devinem27 dot livejournal dot com

**Chapter 7: Hindsight**

John held Teyla close to his chest and slowly began to move. She wrapped her arms around his neck and followed his lead. They moved well together, a byproduct of years of practice. He gradually increased his pace and then suddenly stopped. Teyla looked up panting softly.

"What's wrong?"

He hesitated.

"Just give me a second."

Nearly a full minute passed.

"John?"

He shrugged.

"I can't remember."

Teyla heaved a sigh of frustration and pulled away.

"_John_, the celebration is in three days."

He frowned.

"I know it's in three days. Why do you think I've spent my afternoons here for the past week? To play bingo? No! I'm representing Atlantis at the celebration and dancing with you as a sign of our allegiance. Though, I really don't see why I should bother because Kanaan is going to kill me the moment I lay a hand on you."

Teyla glanced up from the corner of her eye and teased.

"You're afraid of Kanaan?"

John glared at her.

"_No_, I'm not afraid of Kanaan_._ What I am afraid of is that I won't be able to remember which way to turn after the second rotation and look like a complete idiot. Now, is it the right or the left?"

She tried not to laugh.

"The left."

"Thank you."

John pulled her back into his arms and began again, this time completing the dance without any errors. When they bowed to each other signaling the end of the dance Torren bounced up and down in his play pen and cheered. They laughed at him and made their way to the bench. John slouched beside Teyla and took a swig from his water bottle.

"How'd everything go with the move?"

She leaned back against the wall.

"Very smoothly, with such a small harvest this year my people were able to easily pack up the village and move without any complications. The additional help from off world made it possible to complete the move in only two trips. Everyone has settled into their new homes and are trying to find ways in which they can contribute to the community. All seems to be well."

John sighed.

"Good. Your people deserve some peace after what's happened. I'm happy for them."

Teyla smiled.

"Thank you, John. I will be sure to convey your words to the others."

They sat in companionable silence resting after their hour of dance practice. Teyla lifted Torren onto her lap. He smiled and gently patted her on the cheek, but within seconds wiggled down and toddled over to John. She watch as John sat him on his lap and began a mostly one sided conversation. Teyla smiled. She'd missed Torren. He'd visited with his father last week. A total of three weeks had passed since Kanaan's refusal to return to Atlantis. The first week had been a difficult one. She'd missed him horribly and so had Torren. Without his assistance she'd had to find someone to watch Torren while she was away and rearrange her schedule to accommodate her son's presence. Though difficult, she'd managed with the help of friends. During the second week she'd made a short trip to visit her people and allowed Torren to see his father. With her present the Council voted to relocate to Andor and began preparations for the move. It wasn't until later that Kanaan approached her and made his request for Torren to stay the week. Teyla had readily agreed and had hoped to speak with him more, but as soon as she'd said yes he'd turned and walked away. Earlier this week, when Teyla had gone to pick up Torren, she'd been glad to see the first sign that things had improved between her and Kanaan. Instead of kissing Torren goodbye and leaving he'd actually stayed for a brief time and talked to her. He'd only discussed the move, but still it was something, when less than a week ago he'd barely talk to her at all. Teyla had stayed on for two days, helping as much as she could with the relocation.

Teyla stretched and began packing up their things.

"You need any help."

She glanced at John over her shoulder.

"No, I'm fine."

A few minutes later she had everything packed in a carry case and reached for Torren.

John handed him over, but took the carry case from her shoulder and picked up his bottle and towel. They walked through the city and made plans to meet with everyone for lunch within the hour. They heard the initial announcement for unscheduled gate activation, but continued on knowing Control would contact them if they were needed. A few moments later John sighed as his wireless communicator activated.

"Colonel Sheppard, Teyla Emmagan, please respond."

He instantly recognized Amelia's voice and responded.

'This is Sheppard. I'm with Teyla. Go ahead Banks."

"Sir, Mr. Woolsey is requested your immediate presence in the infirmary."

He and Teyla shared a quick glance.

"We're on our way."

"Copy, Control out."

**SSSSS**

Richard Woolsey was just arriving when they reached the infirmary. Both looked at him expectantly, but he turned to Teyla his expression grim.

"I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news. It was Jinto that came through the gate. He was carrying Halling. The moment he made it through the event horizon he collapsed. There appears to have been some type of an attack, but that's all the information that we have at this time. I'm hoping he'll be able to tell us more."

Teyla ignored the feeling of dread that pulled at her gut and pushed through the doors of the infirmary, John and Woolsey followed close behind. She saw the young man sitting on the edge of the bed, but if Woolsey hadn't told her it was Jinto she wouldn't have immediately recognized him. Over the years he'd grown nearly as tall as his father and had begun to fill out, but that wasn't the reason it was difficult to recognize him. Jinto was covered in dirt and blood from head to toe and his body shivered uncontrollably. There was a long cut across the left side of his face and an open wound on his forehead. He slowly glanced up as they entered the room, his expression haunted. Teyla stepped forward and reached for his hand. He looked at her with eyes so full of pain that they brought tears to her own. Teyla gritted her teeth, trying to control her emotions. She knew it was bad, but hoped, prayed, that it was not as horrible as she imagined. But her hopes were soon destroyed as he uttered his first words.

"The Wratih."

Teyla closed her eyes against the pain. It was bad. It was the worst it could possibly be. She sighed and opened her eyes, meeting Jinto's gaze.

"Please tell us what happened."

His voice was low forcing the others to move in closer.

"Kanaan, father and I were coming back from a hunt when a small fight broke out near the edge of the forest. A man and his friend were being accused of being Wraith worshippers by a group of refugees. They'd found an active locator beacon in his belongings and were confronting him about it. Dad wanted to destroy the beacon, but they wouldn't turn it over. Kanaan said that we needed to hurry and warn the village, but they said that we couldn't. That's when we realized they were all Wraith worshippers, but that they belonged to two different sects. They turned on us."

Jinto rubbed the heel of his palms across his eyes and sighed.

"We fought, but within minutes the Darts arrived. We eventually got away, but not before Dad was stabbed in the back. Kanaan was also wounded in the leg and side."

He heard Teyla's gasp, but continued.

"And I got this."

He gestured to his face.

"We went into the forest, but couldn't get very far. Dad couldn't run and Kannan was losing too much blood. I pushed them as far as I could and when they couldn't go any further I dug three shallow graves under a bed of leaves. Dad helped me cover Kanaan. I covered Dad, then went back a ways and tried to cover our tracks, then hid as best I could. The Wraith searched all night leaving just before dawn. I waited a few more hours just to be sure. By morning Dad was unconscious, but his heart was beating, but Kanaan…."

He looked at Teyla his eyes filled with tears.

"He was cold and he wasn't breathing. He was gone. I couldn't save him. I'm sorry I-"

Teyla squeezed his hand. Her voice cracked as she spoke.

"It's okay."

She whispered.

"I understand. Go on."

Jinto heaved a sigh and wiped his eyes.

"I carried Dad on my shoulder. We were so far and I wasn't steady on my feet, so I took the chance of going through the village. A couple of times I called out for help, but there was no one there. We were all that was left. When we reached the gate I dialed back to the old settlement and then I came here."

Teyla grabbed his chin and looked directly into his eyes.

"You did everything that you could. You saved your father. That is what matters. That is what's important. There was nothing else that you could do. Always remember that. There was nothing else that you could do."

Jinto nodded as the nurse returned with an infirmary gown and a thermal blanket. John asked after Halling.

"He's in surgery, sir. Dr. Keller was concerned because he'd lost so much blood and decided to operate immediately. They went in not ten minutes ago."

He thanked her for the information and they all moved aside, allowing her to pull the curtain and give Jinto a few moments of privacy. Woolsey and John talked with Teyla in the corner.

"Major Lorne already has a search and rescue team prepping to gate out within the hour."

He looked at John.

"They'll be waiting for you to lead them out."

John nodded. Woolsey turned to Teyla.

"I _am_ sorry for what has happened to your people. If you need anything please let me know."

"Thank you, but I should go out and-"

"No."

John cut her off.

"Stay here with Jinto. We'll take a cloaked Jumper and bring back any survivors. And we will bring Kanaan home."

Teyla hugged Torren close to her chest. She couldn't speak, so she nodded her thanks. When John and Woolsey were gone she sat in a chair in the corner of the room and waited. She felt strange, numb. She knew that when the pain came it would crush her, break her in two. But for now there was only nothingness.

**SSSSS**

John was leaving the conference room when his wireless communicator activated.

"Sheppard?"

Ronon's voice crackled over the comm.

"Hey, where the hell did you run off to?"

John demanded.

"I'm at Teyla's. Can you swing by?"

John let out a long sigh.

"Yeah, I'm on my way."

He'd already planned to stop by and check on Teyla later that evening, but now was just as good a time as any. John headed down the corridor, making a left at the corner. The search and rescue mission had been strictly a retrieval of Kanaan's remains. They'd swept for life signs, heat signatures, anything that might indicate life. They searched the village, the forest and the mountains beyond, but nothing had turned up. The planet was a ghost town. John tried not to think of the faces, the children he'd played with, people that he'd laughed with, Kanaan. So many lives lost. He shook his head and tried to focus on what Woolsey had said. Jinto was patched up and doing fine. Halling was out of danger, but would have a long recovery. At least they had survived. Teyla wouldn't be completely alone. She and Torren would not be the last of her people.

John reached Teyla's quarters ten minutes after he'd received the call. Ronon and Rodney were in the hallway outside of her door.

"I thought you were with Teyla, not loitering in the hall."

Ronon pushed away from the wall.

"She's not responding to any of our calls."

John could understand Teyla's wish for privacy, but there were some instances when it was better not to be alone and this was one of them.

"You're sure she's in there?"

Ronon and Rodney both nodded. John knocked on the door.

"Teyla are you there, it's John."

He waited to see if she would respond. When she didn't answer he used his security code to override the lock. As the doors slid open John called out again, but she still didn't respond. The lights were dim in her quarters, but he was able to see Torren sleeping in his crib. John walked around the side of the crib and stopped short. He found her sitting on the floor with her forehead resting on her knees. When she looked up her eyes were red and her face was covered in tears. He sat beside her and gingerly placed an arm around her shoulders, but within seconds her head requested on his chest. John said nothing. He simply held her in his arms while she sobbed through the pain.

Ronon stepped out into the hall allowing the doors to close behind him. Rodney stared at him confused.

"I thought we were going to help Teyla?"

Ronon turned heading down the corridor with Rodney slowly trailing behind.

"We just did."


	8. Chapter 8: Balancing Act

**Title:** Harvest Moon

**Series:** Stargate Atlantis

**Theme:** Drama /Romance

**Characters:** Teyla & (Kanaan/John); Cast of SGA, SG-1

**Rating/Warning:** R/Sexual Situations/Language

**Summary: **It was comforting in a way, to be able to forget the pain of such devastating loss.

**Links: http:**/devinem27 dot livejournal dot com

**A quick note: **I just wanted to apologize to everyone for taking so long to update. (Add excuses here - LOL!) Luckily the holidays have given me a chance to catch up on things and I'll be posting a few chapters in the coming week. The big** ten** is coming and I hope you like it. Happy Holidays! **D.**

**Chapter 8: Balancing Act **

Teyla rose at five a.m. and enjoyed a few moments of quiet while she drank her morning tea. After a quick shower and dressing she thought of the day ahead and packed her satchel being sure to bring extra diapers, a change of clothes and snacks for Torren. Shortly thereafter she kissed her son good morning, bathed him and put him in fresh clothes. Doing a quick double check to ensure they had everything they needed, they began their journey to the dining hall.

With it still being early morning few people roamed the corridors so she allowed Torren to walk alone. He toddled along saying "hi" to everyone he met and frequently stopped to investigate anything that caught his attention. Teyla smiled as he stopped to study yet another discovery. He was such a curious child just like his father. She would be sure to tell Kanaa-… Teyla frowned as an ache began in her chest. Kanaan was gone. Her people were gone. It had been two weeks since the culling of Andor and other than the funeral for Kanaan and a memorial service for her people little had changed here in Atlantis. It was comforting in a way, to be able to forget the pain of such devastating loss, to imagine that her people were alive and well. But it could also be a curse, for in moments like these when the painful truth smacked her in the face the anguish she felt was as strong as ever.

For a while, Teyla had harbored some hope that it was all an elaborate ruse. That somehow, some unknown enemy had taken her people. Jinto, being separated from the village at the time of the culling, was unable to confirm exactly what had happened to their people. And given past experience, the possibility of a kidnapping was not too far-fetched, but all inquiries had come up empty and all clues confirmed the obvious. The culling of Andor had been just as random and as devastating as any other.

Teyla breathed deeply, mentally pushing the pain and false hopes aside and continued on her way. She picked up her pace when she noticed that Torren had wondered further down the hall. He had just toddled into the dining hall when he suddenly yelled.

"Da,da,da!"

Teyla blushed bright red. She was mortified. She tried to catch Torren but he took off across the room and launched himself into John's waiting arms. John tossed him in the air which made him squeal even louder and Ronon's laughter soon joined in. Teyla looked at them and shook her head. She went through the line getting food for herself and Torren and then joined the noisy group at their table.

"Good morning."

She greeted them as she sat down. Ronon nodded as he chewed his food and John said a quick 'hey' as he pried Torren's hands away from his coffee mug.

"No TJ that's hot."

Torren quickly lost interest in the mug when he spied John's toast. He grabbed a piece and took a big bite, then grinned widely. Teyla sighed and moved her plate of toast to the middle of the table. John returned Torren's smile.

"What are you two up to today?"

He asked watching as Torren inspected his piece of toast.

"About a month ago Lt. Downs asked me to give a class on self-defense to some of the female personnel. At the time I agreed my situation was different, but now…."

Teyla shrugged.

"She asked if I could still swing by and give a few pointers, but only if I felt up to it. I told her I would stop by, but couldn't promise much as I would have Torren with me. This afternoon we are going to visit with Halling and Jinto."

John sipped his coffee.

"How long is the class?"

Teyla sliced pieces of fruit and put them in her oatmeal.

"An hour, possibly two."

"At eight o'clock?"

She nodded, stirring her food.

"I could watch him for you. I'll be in my office all morning doing paperwork."

Teyla was tempted, but shook her head no.

"You have a city to keep secure and I know you have an exercise this afternoon that you need to prepare for. Thank you, but I'll manage."

"The city can take care of itself, literally, and we finished prepping for the exercise yesterday. He can keep me company while I work and you won't have to 'manage'. I can help."

Teyla stared at him knowingly.

"And if you're needed for something?"

"I'll take him."

Teyla turned to Ronon.

"If anything happened John would probably want or need your assistance."

John butted in before Ronon could reply.

"Look, if something that bad did happen all non-essential personnel would be rendered to quarters and the class would be cancelled. You would be free to take him. It's no problem."

John glanced down at the toddler in his lap.

"Isn't that right, Champ?"

Torren grinned, his mouth and teeth coated with crumbs and bits of toast.

"See."

Teyla shook her head at the three of them. This was getting out of hand. John, Ronon and even Rodney had made a point of checking in with her on a daily basis and offering assistance when they could. And while she appreciated the gestures, they were no longer necessary. Teyla could admit that the night of Jinto and Halling's arrival had been pretty bad. The shock of losing Kanaan and her people and the fear of losing Halling had all taken its toll. The uncontrollable tears, the inability to sleep and the nightmares when she passed out from exhaustion had been difficult, but she hadn't been alone. John had stayed with her that night and the following night and had gone with her to see Halling once he regained consciousness. She was fine now. The worst had passed and they could all go back to their normal routines, but no matter how much she protested they always brushed her concerns aside. She couldn't win.

"I will accept, but this is the last time. The three of you have work to do, other than catering to me and I refuse to be a burden. Deal?"

Teyla sighed at John's frown. He looked as if she'd said something offensive.

"No deal. You're our friend, not some 'burden'. We offer to help because we care. Now if you want to manage something, learn how to manage that."

She frowned not liking his tone, but before she could speak John stood, grabbing her satchel and slipped it on his arm.

"Say goodbye to Momma, JT."

He commanded and her son readily complied. John stole a banana from her tray and stood from the table, Torren in one arm and his tray in the other. As he walked away, Torren happily waived goodbye with what was left of his toast.

"He's right."

Ronon stood, gathering his things.

"We won't stop helping you, no matter how much you complain."

He grinned wolfishly at her disgruntled expression and sauntered away.

"They love you, Teyla and this is how they show their love. What is the harm in that?"

Halling sat on the sofa of his newly assigned quarters, while he and Teyla shared a pot of tea. Jinto had taken Torren on a walk through the city and would return at any moment.

"I don't want them to think that I am weak, that I need to be taken care of."

Halling smiled.

"Do you honestly believe that John would keep you as a member of his team and take you out on dangerous missions if he thought that you were weak?"

Teyla sighed; she knew that he was right.

"No. I know that they mean well, but I don't need-"

"But nothing."

Halling's tone grew firm. He sighed, saddened by the memory of what they had both lost.

"Teyla, things have changed and you must change with them. I am sorry, but you no longer have Kanaan to help you with Torren. It had been a concern of mine when he returned to our village and I am relieved to hear that you have good friends here who would offer you aid. Now that we are here, I will help you as much as I can and so will Jinto."

Teyla placed a comforting hand on his arm.

"You must focus on making a full recovery, not on helping me. Besides, I have an offer to present to you."

Halling stared at her, unable to hide his curiosity.

"With the loss of our people, as you have said, our situation has changed. Atlantis will return to Earth in less than a year. Have you thought at all as to your future or Jinto's?"

He nodded solemnly.

"This too has been a worry of mine. I do have a distant relative here in Pegasus, but am unsure as how to contact her. Truthfully, I am not even sure that she is alive. I do have friends who would be willing to take us in for a while, but I would not wish to be a burden."

Teyla nodded in understanding.

"Have you considered life here on Atlantis?"

"I have wondered, but was not sure if we would be welcomed. After the last time….."

He shrugged.

"Much has changed since then, Halling. They have a better understanding of the city and are now prepared to take on additional personnel. Should you choose to stay here you are free to do as you wish. You could stay as a civilian, awaiting transport to Earth or you can work for Stargate Command as an advisor on Pegasus cultures and languages or on a team as I do.

Halling's brow wrinkled.

"Where does this offer come from?"

Teyla smiled.

"From both John and Mr. Woolsey."

"And Jinto?"

"He will be eighteen years of age soon. In both our cultures he will be considered a man cable of making his own decisions. John hopes that if he goes to Earth he will be distracted enough to lose interest in fighting and possibly wish to continue his education. I must say having been there, I can see, quite easily, how that would be possible. But the choice is up to you and Jinto."

Teyla sat back, giving Halling a few moments to gather his thoughts. He had much to think on, especially when taking into consideration the welfare of his only child. She herself was in a similar situation, but for her the decision was an easy one to make. Teyla loved her people and would give anything for them to be safe and well, but she also realized that if not for her responsibility to her people she would have made this decision years ago. She could only hope that Halling would make the same choice, because she would hate to lose him too after all that had happened.


	9. Chapter 9: For Your Consideration

**Title:** Harvest Moon

**Series:** Stargate Atlantis

**Theme:** Drama /Romance

**Characters:** Teyla & (Kanaan/John); Cast of SGA, SG-1

**Rating/Warning:** R/Sexual Situations/Language

**Summary: **In another time, an earlier time, it's possible that they could have made it work, but too much had changed. She had changed.

**Links: http:**/devinem27 dot livejournal dot com

**Chapter 9: For Your Consideration**

Teyla gradually made her way through the corridors. She'd shortened her steps to accommodate Torren's pace, but in truth he was not the cause of her slow progress. Torren had been fussy, with a slight fever for the past few days. He hadn't slept very well and neither had she. They'd both woken late this morning, missing breakfast with John and Ronon, but luckily didn't have any appointments until after lunch. Their current errand didn't require an appointment, or at least she hoped it didn't.

Teyla and Torren arrived at Richard Woolsey's office, just as he was returning from a quick break. He smiled, greeting them and offered his assistance.

"May I speak with you for a moment?"

"Of course."

He said, gesturing for them to precede him into his office. Teyla took a seat and pulled Torren onto her lap, while Woolsey walked around the side of his desk and sat in his chair. Once they were settled she got straight to the point.

"I spoke with Halling again yesterday and we have both decided to accept your offer. When Atlantis returns to Earth, we will go as well. "

Richard leaned forward and folded his hands, resting them on a folder.

"You both realize that there is a chance we may not ever return to the Pegasus galaxy?"

She nodded.

"Yes and we are willing to accept that possibility."

He continued.

"You would have to become United States citizens. Your names, of course, would stay the same, but you would be given documentation for identification."

"We understand. "

"_If_ we are reassigned and you choose not to serve under our new mission, we would help you find new homes, jobs and work to help integrate you into our society. You will be subject to our laws."

Teyla smiled.

"Mr. Woolsey, Halling, Jinto and I have discussed all of these things at length and after a week of deliberating we have decided to accept your gracious offer. We are prepared to deal with the consequences of our choices."

He returned her smile.

"I am sure that you have and am glad to hear that you have decided to return with us. It would not seem right to leave you behind."

Teyla's smile widened.

"Thank you."

He nodded.

"You are very welcome. I'll get the paperwork started and bring documents by for you, Halling and Jinto to sign later."

Teyla stood taking his comment as a signal that they were done for now. She and Torren slowly made their way to the door.

"Thank you again."

He waved off her thanks.

"It is my pleasure. If there is anything else that I can do to be of assistance please let me know."

She bowed her head slightly.

"I will."

Teyla and Torren headed for the dining hall. There they met John, Ronon, Halling, Jinto, Rondey and Jennifer for lunch. Amelia arrived sometime later. After lunch she, Torren and Jennifer made their way to the infirmary. It was time for Torren's eighteen month physical, but Jennifer has also offered to give her one as well since she was scheduled to return to active duty next week.

Teyla changed into her gown while Jennifer entertained Torren. After his quick check up and shots she began her physical. She changed back into her clothes and played with her son while waiting for the results of their tests. Jennifer came back with her chart and leaned against the side of the infirmary bed.

"Everything checks out fine. You and Torren are both in perfect health. He seems to have had a forty- eight hour bug, but his immune system fought it off. "

Telya sighed with relief. She began gathering their things as she spoke.

"Thank you. I will be sure to keep an eye on him for the next few days, just in case the symptoms return."

Jennifer nodded.

"If they do, you know where to find me."

Teyla stood from the bed, calling Torren to her side. She lifted him to her hip and thanked Jennifer once again. Jennifer walked with them to the door and said goodbye, then remembered something at the last minute.

"Oh, Teyla!"

Teyla paused and glanced back at her.

"Yes."

"There are two tests that haven't come back yet. One of machines had to be replaced so we're a little backed up on those results. They're nothing major, but they are required before your return to active duty. If I see anything worth mentioning I'll let you know, but otherwise you're all set. Okay?"

Teyla nodded.

"That's fine."

Jennifer smiled and headed back into the infirmary and Teyla took Torren home for his afternoon nap.

* * *

><p>Nearly two hours later Teyla sat on the sofa reading. Torren had finally fallen asleep fifteen minutes ago and she'd decided to take advantage of the quite time to finish a book she'd begun weeks earlier. When the door chimed she signed with frustration, but rushed to open it so that it wouldn't wake her son. She was surprised to find Jennifer on the other side.<p>

"Teyla, I was hoping you were home. May I speak to you for a moment?"

Teyla eyed her wearily, wondering what she could be so excited about.

"Of course, please come in."

She stepped back, allowing her friend to enter, and lead her to the sofa. Once Jennifer sat down she offered her a drink, but her guest declined. Jennifer seemed agitated and unsure as to how to begin, so Teyla started for her.

"From your smile I can only assume something good has happened."

Jennifer nodded.

"Yes, something wonderful actually, I have the results from your tests."

Teyla was curious to know how her test results could cause Jennifer so much excitement and glanced at her expectantly.

Jennifer smiled widely and reached out to grab her hand.

"Teyla, you're pregnant. Congratulations."

Teyla froze. Surely, she had misheard her. Her brow twisted in confusion.

"What?"

Jennifer saw the shocked look on her friends face and tried to contain her enthusiasm. Only now realizing the news might be considered unwelcomed.

"You didn't know?"

Teyla shook her head no. She breathed deeply.

"I'm sorry. I thought you had some inkling that you might be and that's why you agreed to an early physical. I ran the test twice just to be sure. I can do it again if need be."

"No, I believe you. It's just a surprise. So much has happened and I knew I was tired, I just thought it was from a lack of sleep. How far along am I?"

"From the information given and the rate of growth, I would say eight and a half, almost nine weeks. With you being so slim I wouldn't be surprised if you started showing fairly soon."

Teyla closed her eyes and placed her hand on her stomach. Another child. Kanaan's child.

"Are you going to be okay?"

Jennifer asked, sounding slightly panicked.

She nodded.

"Yes, I'll be fine. I'm sorry, I had no idea, but this _is_ good news."

Jennifer sighed, relieved.

"Good, you scared me. For a second there I thought I was going to have to sedate you."

She laughed nervously and Teyla smiled.

"Here."

Jennifer pulled a bottle of pre-natal vitamins from her pocket.

"I brought these for you. Remember, one a day with a meal and light to moderate activity from now on. I'll schedule another appointment for you in four weeks. I know this isn't your first rodeo, but did you have any questions?"

Teyla shook her head.

"No."

"If you need anything let me know, okay."

She stood preparing to leave and Teyla followed suit.

"Again, congratulations."

Teyla smiled.

"Thank you."

They shared a quick hug and then Jennifer departed. Alone again, Teyla checked on Torren and then went over to the mirror and looked at the reflection of her stomach. She looked slightly bloated, but now understood why; a baby, Kanaan's baby. Teyla sighed. Each child was a blessing, but she couldn't help thinking that, yet again, she would bear and give birth to his child alone. Only this time, there would be no hope of his return. She regretted that he would never know. He'd been an excellent father to Torren and would have loved and cared for this child equally as much, but for some reason the Ancestors had decided it was not to be.

Teyla starred at her reflection in the mirror and silently admitted that maybe it was for the best. In the past weeks, she'd had time to take a hard look at their relationship and see it for what it had truly been; a mistake. She and Kanaan had been friends since childhood. He'd never tried to hide his attraction for her and, for many years, Teyla had made a point of keeping him at arm's length. During their time together, they'd made no promises to each other. It was only after their return and the birth of their child that they'd discussed being together and soon found that living together was completely different from occasional visits. The signs had been there, they'd always been there, but she and Kanaan had overlooked them in the hopes of becoming something more; a family. They'd had been love and friendship, but it wasn't enough. Kanaan's support had meant the world to her, but his stubbornness and jealousy had worn their relationship thin. In another time, an earlier time, it's possible that they could have made it work, but too much had changed. She had changed.

Teyla brushed her hand across the swell of her stomach and then suddenly froze. She and Kanaan had quarreled a few weeks before the announcement of Atlantis' return to Pegasus. Teyla thought back to the day they returned and began to count. That was nearly twelve weeks; twelve weeks since they'd made love. She stared, dumbfounded, at her reflection and slowly slumped to the floor. This was not Kanaan's child. It couldn't be.

Teyla sat in stunned silence. She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms protectively around her waist. This was John's child_. _For the first time in weeks she felt her heart swell with happiness and smiled. Teyla softly laughed. She knew it shouldn't matter who the father was, it really shouldn't, but it did. The circumstances surrounding this child's conception were different from Torren's, but that didn't mean it wasn't conceived in trust and love. Having Kanaan's baby now, after all that had transpired, would be a constant reminder of their separation and his death. Something she hadn't really wanted for her child.

Having John's baby would create its own set of complications. It would be a constant reminder of what took place on Ryan, of intimacies shared and words spoken, which they had both agreed never to speak of again. The arrival of a child would change everything, forcing them to revisit their past actions and come to terms with what they'd done. Teyla shook her head, pushing those thoughts to the back of her mind. Her feelings for Kanaan and the pain of losing her people were still too fresh. She didn't have the energy to contemplate the complications of her and John's relationship.

Teyla heaved another sigh and rose from the floor. She remembered how angry John had been when she'd told him of her first pregnancy, but that had only been due to her putting herself and her child in danger. He'd been there for her and supported her in every way once she finally accepted that fact that going on missions was too dangerous. Of course, after the baby was born he'd pretty much steered clear of her, but she wasn't sure if that was because newborns made him nervous or if it was because of Kanaan. Either way it didn't matter. She only had to see him with Torren now to know that he would be a kind and caring father. Whether he would actually be happy to _be_ a father was another story.

Teyla looked at the clock and wondered if John was in his office or his quarters. She considered waiting until tomorrow to give her time to process the information, to prepare her words, but knew she was just procrastinating. It was better to just get this over with and now was as good of a time as ever.


	10. Chapter 10: What to Expect When

**Title:** Harvest Moon

**Series:** Stargate Atlantis

**Theme:** Drama /Romance

**Characters:** Teyla & (Kanaan/John); Cast of SGA, SG-1

**Rating/Warning:** R/Sexual Situations/Language

**Summary: **Teyla sat next to John unsure as to how to begin. She could feel her heartbeat racing a mile and minute and her palms began to sweat.

**Links: http:**/devinem27 dot livejournal dot com

**Chapter 10: What to Expect When You're Expecting**

Teyla went in search of John. She started at his quarters, knowing he was more likely out and about then at home and was caught off guard when he called for her to, "Come in". Teyla entered his quarters and found two pairs of eyes staring at her. She took one look at John's and Ronon's face and decided to leave.

"I'm sorry, I'll come back later."

They both called out at the same time.

"Teyla?"

"Wait."

Before she could turn around Ronon had grabbed his jacket and rose from the edge of the bed.

"I was just going to meet Amelia."

He walked past her and looked back at John.

"Shep, I'll catch up with you later."

He and John shared a quick look over her head and then he was gone.

John sat up, removing his feet from the edge of the table. His expression was one of concern.

"Is everything okay? Where's TJ?"

Teyla, still standing in the doorway, nodded.

"Torren is fine. Jinto is watching him for a few moments, so that we can talk."

She watched John, waiting for the implication of her words to sink in. He sat back in a relaxed pose, but was clearly on guard. His face, so easily readable only moments ago, was now blank of any expression. Teyla sighed, suddenly realizing that this might be a lot harder than she'd thought.

"Have a seat."

He invited, still with no expression.

Teyla glanced at her two options; the bed or a sectional that sat very close to John. She chose the latter of the two, thinking it best not to be lounging on his bed when she told him that she was pregnant. Teyla sat next to John unsure as to how to begin. She could feel her heartbeat racing a mile and minute and her palms began to sweat. She rubbed them against her pants and then met his expectant gaze. She considered just blurting out 'I'm pregnant', but she didn't want him to make the same mistake that she had and assume that the child was Kanaan's. Teyla cleared her throat and glanced down at her hands.

"I have some interesting news."

John eyed her warily.

"Ok."

"I had a physical today."

She said meeting his eyes.

"And it appears that we…"

She gestured to both of them.

"…are having a baby."

John jerked as if he'd been shot.

_Holy shit!_

"What!"

Teyla flinched at his tone. She knew his shout was a rhetorical question, but repeated her words anyway.

"We're having a baby."

Teyla's words had sent sirens off in John's head. The mental wall he'd created, blocking all memories associated with their mission to Ryan, rumbled and cracked. It had taken him a long time, but he was finally at a point where he could keep a tight rein on those emotions and now was not the time to lose control. He gritted his teeth and tried to focus.

_A baby. Our baby._

John opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He swallowed to lubricate his throat and tried again.

"Are you sure? About me being the father?"

He croaked.

Teyla nodded.

"Yes, I'm almost nine weeks along."

"But since.. _then._. you and Kanaan never…"

He couldn't finish the sentence.

She shook her head.

"No."

John nodded accepting the information and glanced at her stomach. A crumbling sound echoed thru his mind, followed by a loud thud.

"John?"

Teyla reached out and touched his arm.

"Are you okay?"

She asked, growing concerned. It wasn't like him to be this quiet.

He glanced at her, his expression slightly dazed, but still said nothing. Teyla sighed.

"Look John, I know this is unexpected. I'm just surprised as you are."

"Somehow, I doubt that."

He mumbled under his breath.

Teyla frowned, not appreciating his sarcasm.

"If this is too much for you I can handle this on my own."

John glared at her.

"Would you just hold on a damn minute before you start jumping to any conclusions?"

She leaned back, folding her arms defensively.

"You don't seem to be very thrilled about the news."

"Of course I am!"

John leaned back, resting his head on the sofa.

"Geez, Teyla, give me a break. I just found out I'm having a baby with one of my best friends. I just need a day or week or two for all of this to sink in."

He rubbed his hands over his eyes and sighed, then rolled his head towards her.

"How do you feel about the pregnancy? About me being the father and all? If you have mixed feelings, I can understand, considering everything that has happened."

His questions gave her pause. Teyla had been so consumed with thoughts of the pregnancy itself that she'd never stopped to consider his concerns. Could he really believe she wouldn't want this baby because it was his and not Kanaan's?

"I don't have conflicted feelings about anything. I want this baby. I love this baby. How could I possibly love the father and not love the child?"

She smiled at him teasingly and he grinned back.

The sound of boulders crashing filled his head as the last few remnants of his wall collapsed. Images flooded his mind of the night they'd spent together; of promises made and of words whispered which should never have been said. John closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, breathing in her scent. He was a goner and he knew it.

So much had changed since that night. After Ryan, each day for him had become a living, breathing, hell. Seeing Teyla with Kanaan had been painful, but he'd willingly accepted his penance. It was all his fault, John willingly admitted it. He'd chosen to flirt with women he didn't really care about rather than take a chance on the one he did. He'd used them being teammates, their friendship, and even her relationship with Kanaan as an excuse to keep her at arm's length and had suffered greatly for it.

John had allowed his fear of rejection, fear of failure, to hold him back. Telling himself that he was better off alone. It was what Nancy had once told him when she'd asked for a divorce and over the years he'd begun to believe it too. It hurt too much to try and fail, so why bother, especially when the one you want seemed happier with someone else. And for all of his trouble, this was the messy hand he'd been dealt; the woman he loved, pregnant with his child, mourning the loss of her lover and father of her son. It was a complete cluster fuck and he had no idea how to correct all that he'd done wrong.

John opened his eyes and sat up.

"How are we going to do this?"

Teyla shrugged.

"Like we always do, take it day by day and do the best we can."

He grunted.

"What about doctor appointments? You had a lot of those the last time."

Teyla nodded.

"My next appointment is in four weeks, if you'd like to go."

John was surprised by her words.

"I can go. You wouldn't mind?"

Teyla laughed.

"Of course not, it's your child too. I'm sure you'll want to know its progress and health just as much as I will."

His face twisted.

"Do you still have any of those books about having babies?"

She shook her head no.

"I'm sure we can get some from Jennifer. She also has a video that you should probably watch."

John was immediately interested.

"If I look at the video, can I skip the books?"

"No, but it is still just as important. It's for a Lamaze class. You can get if from Jennifer at the appointment."

He frowned.

"Couldn't you just ask for the info and give it to me."

Teyla tilted her head.

"And why would I do that?"

John smiled his most charming smile.

"Because you love me."

She smirked.

"Not that much."

He laughed.

"Aw, come on Teyla."

John pleaded.

"No, besides I'm going to tell Jennifer that you're the baby's father. If you go to appointments with me she's bound to get suspicious. She'll also need to know for medical reasons."

"Yeah, I guess we should tell the guys too. They'll wonder why you haven't rejoined the team."

She nodded in agreement.

"And Woolsey."

John grew quiet. He hesitated for a few seconds, but then said what was on his mind.

"You realize at some point we're going to have to discuss what happened on Ryan."

Teyla met his gaze.

"Yes, I know."

"Teyla, I know telling Kanaan the truth was difficut, but-."

She cut John off before he could finish.

"He didn't know."

John frowned, confused.

"But you said you told him."

Teyla sighed, thinking of the night she'd spoken to Kanaan.

"I did tell him some of it. That we slept together, yes, but not the whole story. I couldn't. He was so hurt and angry and then the next thing I knew he was gone. He just walked off into the night."

John gritted his teeth, not wanting to speak ill of the dead, but if Kanaan had reacted that way after hearing that they'd slept together only once, the truth would have destroyed him.

Teyla, feeling a bit tired, rose from her seat and headed for the door.

"I have to go. I asked Jinto to watch Torren for a few minutes. I need to get back to him. We'll have to finish this discussion another time."

John eyed her suspiciously as he stood.

"Why didn't you bring him with you to begin with? There was no reason to get a sitter."

She hesitated, but finally admitted the truth.

"I wasn't sure how this conversation would go and I didn't want him to see either of us upset. I also thought it would be easier if we didn't have to tone down our reactions."

"You thought I would get angry."

It was a statement, not a question.

"It was a possibility."

She conceded and turned to leave.

John caught her by the arm and waited for her to meet his gaze.

"Teyla, no matter how bad the situation is, I would never intentionally hurt you or Torren_, ever_. You know me better than that."

She sighed, remembering the riverside by the old Athosian settlement.

"I used to think that I knew a lot of things, but found out the hard way that I was wrong."

John's expression grew solemn.

"Kanaan, loved you, we both know that. He made a mistake by leaving and, hopefully, given time he would have made things right, but I'm not Kanaan. I will yell, I'll scream, I may even walk away so that I can cool down, but I'll never leave you."

Teyla shook her head.

"John, you don't know that. You can't know how Kanaan felt after learning that we were together."

He frowned.

"Not exactly, no, but I can sympathize. It would be very close to how I felt when I learned that you were pregnant with Torren."

Teyla's eyes widened with surprise.

"I'm sure you remember my anger."

John glanced away, appearing slightly uncomfortable.

"Anyway, I wanted you to know that I'm not going anywhere."

Teyla was shocked by his revelation. While she couldn't imagine John being jealous of Kanaan and their relationship, she did appreciate him telling her the truth and trying to placate her fears. She placed her hand over his.

"Thank you."

He simply nodded and let her go.


	11. Chapter 11: Third Time's A Charm

**Title:** Harvest Moon

**Series:** Stargate Atlantis

**Theme:** Drama /Romance

**Characters:** Teyla & (Kanaan/John); Cast of SGA, SG-1

**Rating/Warning:** R/Sexual Situations/Language

**Summary:** Her profession had given her some practice in controlling her expressions, but she still needed a lot of work.

**Links:** http:/devinem27 dot livejournal dot com

**Chapter 11: Third Time's A Charm**

Teyla glanced at her watch and frowned. If she waited any longer she was going to be late and she hated wasting other people's time. She and John had discussed this, but it just didn't feel right having her ultra-sound and talking to Jennifer without him being present. This was the third time that Teyla'd had to reschedule her appointment due to an emergency situation or a lengthy mission and Jennifer had warned her that further postponements were not optional. There were just too many important tests that needed to be done. They'd both agreed with Jennifer and John had promised to make the next check-up if anything delayed his return, which should have been three hours ago.

Teyla walked with Torren as they made their way to Halling's quarters. Jinto had, yet again, agreed to keep an eye on her son. He'd done so several times in the last few weeks and Teyla wanted to find a way to thank him. She began to count the exact number in her head; the first time being when she spoke privately with John and the second being when she and John had talked to Ronon and Rodney. Teyla smiled remembering the look on their faces. Ronon had been fine, but Rodney… She shook her head. John had been on the verge of hitting him. It was a good thing he hadn't been within arm's reach.

**SSSS**

_The Monday following Teyla's revelation, she, John, Ronon and Rodney met in the dining hall late in the afternoon. It was vacant expect for the dining personnel which gave them the privacy they needed to talk. Teyla and John sat on one side of the table watching Rodney as he diligently worked on an assignment. He'd repeatedly type for long periods of time, pause, mumble to himself or gloat and then start the process all over again. She and John shared a look. John tilted his head towards Rodney and rolled his eyes and then glanced at his watch to check the time. _

_Within seconds of the appointed time Ronon strolled through the main doors and made a beeline for their table. He straddled a chair and looked at John expectantly. _

_John sat straight, clearing his throat. He looked from Teyla, to Ronon and then finally Rodney, who continued typing on his laptop, before he began. _

"_I know you were expecting to have Teyla back on the team as of today, but it looks as if that won't be the case. Teyla won't be able to return for about a year."_

_Ronon looked at Teyla his expression one of concern._

"_A year? Are you okay?"_

_She nodded._

"_Yes, I'm fine. As a matter of fact, I'm better than fine. I'm pregnant."_

_Rodney suddenly stopped typing. He frowned at her over the top of his screen._

"_Again? Ouch!"_

_He yelled, rubbing the spot where Ronon had just cuffed him. He glared at Ronon, wanting to say something mean, but a look at Ronon and then John made him realize he was lucky he'd only gotten hit once. Rodney looked at Teyla. _

"_I didn't mean it like that." _

_John frowned at him._

"_How else did you mean it, Rodney?"_

_Rodney shrugged, trying not to dig himself any deeper._

"_I don't know. I was just surprised, okay?"_

_He went back to typing in the hopes that they would leave him alone._

_Ronon smiled at Teyla._

"_Congratulations."_

_She returned his smile._

"_Thank you, Ronon." _

_Teyla looked at John, who simply nodded._

"_There is something else that we thought you two should know."_

_She looked at Ronon since Rodney was still hiding behind his computer. _

"_John is the father."_

_The silence lasted for five seconds._

"_Holy crap! Are you serious?" _

_The disbelief on Rodney's face was comical. Ronon recovered from the initial shock and tried to cover his laughter by coughing, but before long he was red in the face. His eyes twinkled with amusement as his gaze met Sheppard's from across the table. He refused to say anything crude in from of Teyla, but later it was so on. _

"_It's from Ryan, isn't it? I knew something like this would happen!"_

_Teyla leaned across the table. _

"_Yes, now please lower your voice." _

_He glanced around noting the two people refreshing the salad bar, who'd begun to stare when he started yelling. Rodney mumbled under his breath and then shoved Ronon's arm._

"_I told you."_

_Ronon's only reply was a threatening glare and then he turned to John and smiled. _

"_I guess congratulations go to you as well."_

_John nodded._

"_Thank you. We wanted to keep you guys in the loop. You'll probably hear all kinds of crazy rumors when the pregnancy becomes more obvious, but we wanted you to know the truth."_

_This time Ronon nodded and grinned._

"_I said it once and I'll say it again. Ronon is a good name for a girl or a boy."_

**SSSS**

Teyla's visit with Dr. Keller was almost complete. All of the necessary information had been filled out, tests and blood work were done and the only thing left was the ultra-sound. Jennifer had stepped away for a moment leaving Teyla quietly resting in a partitioned off area of the infirmary. Her thoughts immediately turned to John, Ronon and Rodney. She wondered if they were alright and if Woolsey had heard anything yet.

The sound of footsteps pulled Teyla from her thoughts. They were headed in her direction and sounded different from Jennifer's, which probably meant the nurse was coming to tell her of a delay. Teyla glanced at the screen expectantly and smiled when John came around the corner. He looked tired, he was very dirty, but he was there and upon seeing Teyla lying in the bed, he frowned.

"Is something wrong?"

She shook her head.

"No, I'm just waiting for Jennifer."

John sighed, relieved.

"Oh. Well, sorry I'm late. The situation got a little hairy and we had to shoot out way out."

"There's no need to apologize. I'm just glad that you made it back in one piece. That you all did."

Dr. Keller returned at that moment and was surprised to find John with Teyla.

"Colonel, whatever pressing issue you have to discuss with Teyla will have to wait until after her appointment. So, if you wo-"

"Actually, Jennifer, John is the reason that I've previously postponed my appointment. I wanted him to be here."

Keller glanced from Teyla to John.

"Oh, okay. Are you going to be Teyla's coach?"

She asked as she prepped the equipment.

John nodded and swallowed at the same time.

"Yes, I'll be her coach, but I'm also the baby's father."

Keller's face froze, but her eyes grew as wide as saucers. Her profession had given her some practice in controlling her expressions, but she still needed a lot of work.

"Surprised?"

He asked, stating the clearly obvious.

She nodded not trusting herself to speak.

John smirked.

"It's okay, Jennifer. We know this comes as a bit of a shock. Truthfully, I thought Rodney would have told you by now."

Keller let out a long sigh.

"I'm sorry it's just-. Rodney knows? Is that why he's been avoiding me and acting all twitchy?"

He shrugged and tried not to roll his eyes.

John frowned as he watched Jennifer squirt a clear gel on Teyla's stomach and then began to glide a handheld device over her skin.

"What are you-?"

A strange sound began to emit from the speakers. A pulse, strong, fast, and it grew louder as Jennifer moved the transducer lower across Teyla's abdomen. She smiled.

"That's the baby's heartbeat."

John stared in amazement. For weeks he'd been trying to wrap his head around the idea. To image Teyla pregnant again, but knowing that this time it was his. But now he didn't have to. He couldn't see it, not yet, but he could hear it with his own ears. His child. Their baby.

John felt Teyla's hand grasp his own and glanced at her. She smiled and tiled her head in question. He nodded and gently squeezed her hand. Yeah, he was tired, he'd give his right arm for something to eat, a shower and a quick nap, but he couldn't have moved even if he had wanted to. John stood completely and utterly transfixed by the sound of their child's beating heart.

**SSSS**

Teyla took one look at John as he walked down the corridor and giggled.

"Really?"

He asked his tone extremely sarcastic. John glanced down at the large brightly colored bag covered with babies, rattles and diapers that Jennifer had given him and sighed. It contained the reading material that he'd asked for, but one look at the bag and Teyla had stepped away refusing to touch it. Now he walked through the halls carrying a bag that screamed 'pregnant' to anyone who cared to look.

"We can do this later if you want. I know you must feel weary and want to rest. It would also give you a chance to put that bag away."

John glanced at Teyla. She was right, but he wanted to talk with Woolsey today and now was as good a time as any.

"It should only take a few minutes and I can crash when we're done.

Richard Woolsey was completing paperwork in his office when John rapped on the threshold of his door. He looked up and bade them enter. Richard invited them to sit down and set aside his paperwork giving them his full attention.

"What can I do for you two this afternoon?"

Teyla and John shared a quick look.

"We actually needed to discuss something with you."

John began, as he settled into his chair.

"Have you received a report from Dr. Keller in regards to Teyla's current status?"

Woolsey looked at a stack of files on his desk and then glanced at Teyla.

"Yes, I understand that you have returned to active duty, but with restrictions. Full reinstatement will be delayed for some time."

She nodded.

"Yes, I am with child."

Richard smiled.

"Congratulations, Ms. Emmagan. If there is anything that I can do to be of assistance please let me know. I am only sorry that Kana-"

John cut him off before he could finish.

"That's what we needed to talk to you about."

Woolsey looked slightly irritated at being interrupted, but his curiosity as to the purpose of this meeting won out. He encouraged John to go on.

"Please continue."

John leaned forward, resting his forearms on his thighs.

"I'm the father."

Richard blinked once and glanced at Teyla who nodded, confirming John's words.

"I see."

He sat back in his chair and folded his hands in his lap.

"How may I be of help?"

"First off, we felt that you deserved to know the truth."

Woolsey looked at them both.

"Thank you, I appreciate that."

"Secondly, I'll need to ensure certain documents are updated in my profile just in case something unexpected happens to me before the baby is born."

Richard nodded at John.

"I understand. I can e-mail the necessary documents to you today and can check our records here for a licensed notary. We could have the documentation forwarded to Earth along with Teyla, Halling, Jinto and Ronon's request for citizenship. I'll need a day or two to get things in order."

"That's fine."

Woolsey made quick notes on a pad of paper and looked at them again.

"Is there anything else?"

Teyla and John shared a quick look and then both shook their heads.

"No, that's all we have for now."

Richard nodded again and they all rose at once.

"Congratulations to the both of you."

They thanked him again and went on their way.

They strolled towards John's quarters, Hallings and Jinto's quarters being around the corner from his.

"Was it as bad as you thought it would be?"

He shrugged.

"No, but someone needs to tell Keller to work on her poker face. She could learn a thing or two from Woolsey."

Teyla laughed, remembering her bug eyed expression.

"It was pretty bad, wasn't it? Not as bad as Rodney, but still."

John glanced down at the bag in his hand and frowned.

"Yeah, no wonder they get along so well together."

Teyla's laugher echoed down the hall, while John continued his monologue.

"They're a lot more alike than I realized. If Rodney wasn't good at his job and handy in a tight fix, I'd have shot him by now. She's lucky she's a good doctor."

"_John!"_

Teyla admonished.

"Hey!"

He held up his hand defensively.

"I'm not saying I'd shoot her with bullets. A stunner or maybe some duct tape..."

His voice trailed off as he fell deep in thought.

"_John Sheppard, stop that right now!"_

Teyla giggled and struggled to catch her breath.

"What a horrible thing to say! "

He merely shrugged and stopped by his door.

"I'm just saying."

Her grinning expression and words were a contradiction.

"Shame on you."

John stared back at her innocently and Teyla shook her head.

"I'll see you tomorrow at breakfast."

He frowned.

"Aren't you coming to dinner?"

Teyla looked surprised.

"Yes, but I thought you'd be too exhausted to make it."

He hesitated for a second.

"Actually, I have a new DVD, Toy Story 3, we could watch it over dinner with Torren in a couple hours."

She tiled her head.

"Are you sure you're not too tired?"

He nodded.

"I'm sure."

She smiled.

"Then we'll see you at seven."

Teyla turned and walked away and then remembered something. She turned back to John and laid her hand on his arm.

"Thank you for coming with me today. It really meant a lot to me."

John smiled one of his most charming smiles.

"My pleasure."


End file.
